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16. Lilith Walking
November 2021 Every muscle yells at me as I slog up another hill, slowing my pace to finish my run, having pursued every suburban mountain I could find along the way. I’ve taken to running the hills in the neighboring town to try to prevent myself from losing interest in the activity. The extra hills…
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15. The Hill
November 2021 Birthdays and anniversaries passed in muted tones of grey, while I overcompensated and became the torch bearer for fun, kicking myself into overdrive to mask what was happening from the girls. It was slowly burning me out, but I couldn’t pull Adam out of it. A slump was becoming something much more like…
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14. It Is What It Is
October 2021 Despite my abhorrence toward evasion, I find avoiding unplanned encounters with Henry easier than tackling another conversation. I’ve made it clear to Henry that I don’t want to see him. It’s the ‘why’ that is troubling. I continue to pocket this thought, pulling it out again to brood over it. He continues to…
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13. What It Is Is A Problem
August 2021 It happens when I’m covered in sweat. On my first run after having Beth, thinking I may have the look of a slightly squashed tomato, but proud of myself for lasting as long as I did. Exercise after kids should be a resume skill under the category: Creative Problem Solving. So, riding the…
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12. Mother’s Milk
June 2021 The house is full of noise. A cacophony crescendoes in waves as I calmly shepherd my team from one virtual meeting to the next and attempt to interview candidates, channeling all of my wry humor into my professional conversations. The smiles sometimes don’t quite reach our eyes. Comments like “Please ignore my dog…
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11. Maple
November 2020 “Just going to take a few more images and pay more attention. Sorry if I’m less chatty right now,” said the technician. That was when I knew. We were trading jokes, and then Alice stopped talking and put more gel on my stomach. The abruptness of her U-turn made me want to laugh.…
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10. A Small Door
May 2021 “Still alive. You?” The ellipsis that quickly follows my words distracts me from the discomfort of the pump. I watch as Henry writes. “[Climbs off bridge.] Everything is awesome! There is no Armageddon. We have toilet paper again. What are you doing?” I listen to the “woo-sha, woo-sha” sound of the pump as…
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9. Circles Across The Floor
April 2002 Henry’s arms wrap around my waist, his fingers tapping against my hips, keeping up with the music. We dance slowly across the family room in small circles, hips swaying against each other. We lean into each other and smile, taking our time to get there. There’s no need to rush. We are young…
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8. Clocks On The Walls
May 2021 Beth plays with her fingers while I fold laundry on our bed. Tiny socks and onesies form a neat line on my blue sheets. Jane has glued herself to her sister’s side and is singing a song, making it up along the way, kissing Beth’s toes in between stanzas about monkeys on a…
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7. Books & Blood
Henry owns a bookstore in my hometown. It is beautiful inside. Books and records and art await your senses. In my twenties, I would linger in the quieter aisles, brushing the spines of books with my fingers and glancing at pages while we tested each other’s boundaries, waiting for Henry to close the store. Then…
Got any book recommendations?
A Story For Us To Remember When We Are Old. © Laura Coughlin 2023 